The playlist

I was caught singing the old song again moments ago. Some familiar songs of uncertainty from the playlist started playing itself in my mind as if someone click on the 'play' button.

@#%&*^$!!!
Result is out soon!!!
T.T
There are countless of butterflies in my stomach!!!

With a snap of the fingers, somebody click on the 'next' button and a song of comfort is being played.

The lyrics goes like this,

He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.
1 Corinthians 1:8-9

Yeap, He is faithful at all times.

Chill sherene! Chill! And be patient!

God's promises are like the stars;
the darker the night the brighter they shine.

-David Nicholas-

:) :) :)

The silent scream

I finally succumbed to write this. Sometimes I despise myself for grumblings.

Matters of concern:

Settling down in a church.
I can list down things I'm looking for in choosing a church to attend. I've even consulted a few closer adults, friends and family regarding this. But ultimately, what is in the Father's heart? Anyway, I've only visited one church so far and I know I have to give myself an appropriate time frame to look around.

Studies.
Haunted by the past and is doubtful of the future.

Bridging the gap of relationship between classmates, housemates and other people.
I... ... ahem am shy to take the initiative to talk to housemates. Probably because they are guys and I'm going to see them for approx 10 hours a day. For classmates, I'm a newbie though not so new, trying to join them. They are already a gang.

Time management.
I think I'm too free till mid of next month. I clean and clean and clean the house until it is sparkling shimmering shinning. Ok, I'm done with cleaning and is satisfied. I revise every lesson in class. I read the Bible and christian book as well. I surf the net everyday without failing. I even went out with my secondary school friends. Still, there are extra time. How should I spent it? Work part time? If yes, where, who, which, what, how? I'm new here and still an acquaintance to the surrounding areas. Is this a season for me to relax? Suddenly, I find the book of Ecclesiastes speaks so well on meaningless life. Everything is meaningless!

I put on weight previously and if I put on another 2 kilos or so, I'll be over weight. Do you believe it?
I plan to take the stairs up to 14th floor where I'm staying but it is not safe to do that. So, I swim! 3 to 5 times a week and at least half an hour each time. However, I'm having dinner with dad everyday. Food. Who doesn't loves food? Dad is a must-eat-to-the-fullest kind of person. Oh man! Oh man! Oh man! It is not a blessing to me anymore. Go and feed your other daughters la.

All the above matters of concern are not a standalone matter. It is a mixture that mixers everything unevenly. Hence, it causes complications when come to finding a solution.

Sighhhh! If you are reading this, would you please pray for me? I'll appreciate that. :)

The whole things sounded rather melancholy. :(

Loving the unloving

I got back from Kuala Lumpur Hospital around 10:30 pm. I am fine here. I did not get admitted into hospital. :) I visited my dad's friend. A secondary school classmate to be exact. However, I waited outside neurology unit the whole time because visitng time was over and the security guard is particular about visitors coming in. And so I did not manage to visit my dad's friend.

I choose to follow dad after dinner though I do not know who is that because I have nothing better to do. >< Yea, a boring Monday night. On our way there, dad said that 2 hours ago, some of his brain vessels burst. Vessels keep on bursting! His condition has gone from bad to worst. The chances of him staying alive is less than 50%. Stroke kills! The following few lines get me thinking. According to dad, he is an arrogant, hypocrite, boastful and envious rich kid who somehow couldn't mix with other classmate from their school days until now. He doesn't know how to socialize and he segregates science and art class students. Despite of that, dad and 2 more friends still went on and visited him at his death bed.

Could such thing ever happen? Yes, it happened!

It is easy to love those who loves you but it is hard when you have to love someone who gets on your nerves every now and then. But behold! I've got the love of God in me! :) And am grateful for that. God loves me when I was so unworthy to be loved because of the sinful nature in me. He enables me to love in an extraordinary way, more than I can ever imagine through the finished work of the Lord Jesus on the cross. An examplary example of love has been set for all.

May the love of God flow through me.