Sunday, June 19, 2011

June 2011

*sneezes sneezes sneezes* I am having flu... T.T

I wonder what life has to offer. Or rather, what God has in store for me. At the moment, I am living a live of mediocrity. I am stuck in every aspect of life.

I sat for P7 Advanced Audit and Assurance this time round for ACCA examination. It was so hard. I could not finished it. To be rational, I do not think I will make it. Do note that this is the 3rd attempt for this paper. What the heck right?

Next, my salary is below market rate in Malaysia. A fresh grad with a degree qualification earns him/herself at least RM1,800.00. I am in the final stage - Professional level of ACCA and guess what? I do not even qualified for that amount. According to ACCA, which is known worldwide, a person who has completed Fundamental Level, which I did, is equivalent to a degree. I have exceeded that by passing more paper in Professional Level (completed 3 out of 5). I do not think I am asking too much if I am demanding more. Ok, I am staying with my dad and sister. Meaning I do not need to pay rental, dinner and grocery. Does that means I do not need the extra few hundreds? NO! It is my right to get more because I am qualified for it.

In order to be qualified as an chartered accountant, I need to submit Trainee Development Matrix(TDM). It is a document to file my working experience. I would need to answer many questions that is work based structured questions and not based on text book. I went through the questions a few days ago. In every performance objective, there are three questions to be answered. For most of the performance objectives, I cannot completely answer all three. That is because my current role does not allowed me to due to lack of appropriate exposure. I think I am deprived of career advancement. I need help on this. I am looking for appropriate people to advise and counsel me on this(filing of experience in TDM).

I am a parasit in church. I am not in a big church but I find it difficult to get involve in serving. This is not right. I am not sure what does it means. Could it be that I should have taken more initiative to approach people? I do not know.

It is hard to do devotion at home. At night, dad watched dvd or blasts jazz music. I understand his needs of relaxing after a tiring day of work. But what about me? My daily devotion is usually delayed till later part in the night when dad turns off those devices and goes to sleep. I sleepily read through the verses. Sometimes, I can not take it anymore and I will just head to the bed and sleep. How about devotion in the morning? Mind you, I have been trying since beginning of the year by waking up early but it did not happen. I just cannot pull myself up from the bed.

I am not obese but close to. I am gaining weight each year without failed. Honestly, part of my confidence and self-esteem give way to weight gain.

I am quieter nowadays due to several issues stated above. There are many issues to be dealt with in life. Some are easy, some are not. What I do hope is that I may go through this boldly and joyfully. I want to be able to embrace every new day with a smile.

One step at a time,
an issue at a time?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

What else can I say?
Sigh.

Sigh deeply...

:(