Monday, August 4, 2008

Downcast

My name appears in mgcboleh.blogspot.com. Thanks hwei for remembering. Yes, hwei. I miss you too! I remembered such reunion that I've attend was during chinese new year time, where it was drizzling and we share the warmness of each other in McDonald, Jaya Jusco, Melaka. That is all! Once only. I've missed so many opportunity of meeting up with this group of people. I hope I do not feel stress this time meeting up with this group of people. I do not know what caused me to stress. I remembered last time I felt the stress of not meeting up for long time. Then came geng yi to help me to de-stress by asking me why am I looking so stress. Such one simple question is enough to blow off my stress spirit. =)

Lots of things are bothering me recently. I must admit that I am disturb by all this. God seems to be silent. Or am I the one that is not silent enough before Him? Or is it just excuses? Where is my faith? My childlike faith that God desires. What causes my faith to fade and ebb away? I am still clinging on to Him though. I have not gave up on God yet. I hope I'll never. Painful experiences and disappointments in life somehow seems to pull me back instead of going forward. Life gets tougher but I am not toughen up.

Okie. Result will be out in 14 days time. Again, unless miraculous happens. Or else...... ( I am not the kind of person that longs for miraculous sign, don't worry people. )*sigh*

I need divine motivation and passion! For simple thing like going to class for second time for the same subject throughout this semester! Going through the same thing all over again ain't an enjoyable thing. I admit that I do not know how to help myself anymore in this area. Everyday I would just pull myself out of the bed for class. At times, I just couldn't pull myself up. God, help!

*I attended passion KL 2008. That doesn't mean I can be passionate overnight. Or revival happen overnight. Over one concert.*

What about dad's job? No job = no money.

Mom salvation? Will she ever comes into the kingdom of God?

My area of service? I do not want to serve blindly. I want to serve productively. But so far it seems to be ok.

I guess this post would be counted as the downcast of the author. This author needs to learn to live by faith, more faith, much faith and a lot a lot of faith from the ever faithful God.

1 comment:

hwei said...

Stress cuz afraid things might not be the same anymore, and everyone has changed? =) Don't worry, we still very sayang you and Sharonne. Now and forevermore! Haha.

Hang in there ya. Remember the lovely song - God will make a way. Sing it in the toilet. Hee.

See you this Sat! =D