3/3 F

I promised myself that I will post this blog.

18th of February, the day where all the CAT & ACCA students waited anxiously for the release of result. I opened ACCA website, logged into myACCA, keyed in my registration number and pass code. A few seconds passed. There we go, my result appeared on the screen. 3/3 FAIL !!! Did you get it? All failed! My first ever degree examination and I failed all. What a discouragement! I e-mailed it to my father. Later on, I decided to call. Thinking that he might not have the time to check the mailbox. I wonder what will his expression be. Disappointment? Or can he accept?

True enough! He can! I do not know how he do it. But he can accept this fact.

He said :" Right now, you don't worry about anything, just focus on the current subject. Next sem try again. Study hard ok?"

Speechless me yet able to barely answered an "Ok."

Last December was the examination month. After exam ended, I cried. I knew that I won't make it. It's not that I don't have faith. But how can you expect a pass when you sat for 3 hours and not knowing what to pen down? My father is the one who consoled me.

Feeling guilty? Of course. Feeling sad? Of course. How can a human not felling sad when something bad happened? All human has feelings.

How come failed? Have I been neglecting my time to study? Or I don't understand what am I studying? Or wrong method of studying? Or I just take it lightly? Give me any reason. I don't have the answer.

*getting emo*

Consequences of this failure is wasting of time and money. Extra approx 4k and extra 1/2 year.

*enough of emoness*

There must be a reason for this to happen. God wouldn't favor failing his child, because he loves every single one of them, it hurts to fail his own child. But if failure do happened, he must have his reasons for doing so. Is He disciplining me? Or testing my faith? Can be those reasons. Or He has something for me to learned in that extra half a year time? Can be also. My earthly father still loves me and is still understanding when I failed my exam. All the more will my heavenly Father who loves me until the very end be with me to overcome this challenging time.

*action plan*

Talking about action plan, it is easy to draft it out. But to carry it out? It requires high discipline and commitment. All this while, whenever I am stress-out, I tend to scold people for nothing and started eating like a monster. And I don't realized it when I am doing all this things, releasing tension in a wrong way. My family is my witness. Only when I calm my self down, I come to realize all the foolish act that I've done. Back at home, my family can help in minimizing this from happening. But right now I am not at home. Who will help me? This is the real uni life! Count on God for help, for He is faithful!

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Ephesians 3:20

*off to battle field*

There will always be ups and downs in life. It is up to us to face it or to hide from it. I choose to face it. Do it again! Open the book, and start studying. Do it with the strength, the wisdom and the help from above. I want to let His glory shine in coming exam!

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing [this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have [her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all.
James 1:2-4