See you soon, my beloved!

14th of March (Friday)
I feel homesick!!! I want go home!!! Oh, there will be a public holiday next thursday!!! Cool!!!

19th of March (Wednesday)
I wanna go home tomorrow!!! Really homesick!!! I've never felt this way before!!!

20th of March (Thursday)
I expect the bus terminal to be packed because today is a public holiday. I am wrong! Not many people are there. I easily got a ticket home. Normally, I will get stuck for at least 2 hours in Seremban bus terminal. But today, I managed to reach home in 2 hours time. I felt overjoy!!! That was the minimum time for traveling I can achieve. I thanked God for the nice and safe trip today. =)

12:30 pm. Welcome me back to my house. Rest. Eat (Mummy cooked special asam laksa maggi mee). Next, eat some more!!! Lots of chocolate in the refrigerator!

Approximately 2:30 pm. A black car stopped outside my house. Don't worry, it was my cousin who fetched my aunty back from hospital la.... My aunty was admitted to ICU few days ago for blood transfusion. I don't think that was all, must be another more serious problem that made my cousin sent my aunty to hospital. I opened the gate. Next the car's door. I saw my aunty, sitting down almost lifelessly, and is very very much thinner than before. I called “Yellow!!!" (yellow=hello) She opened her eyes a lil to look at me. Then closed her eyes again. She was extremely weak! No strength to even walk! The maid carried her out from the car and put her on the wheelchair. Put her on the bed, she slept. Don't even have the strength to talk. How heart breaking am I!!!

21th of March (Friday)
I looked into the room where my aunty always sleeps in. She was not there. I asked mummy " Akor leh?" (Where is anuty?) Mummy answered " Yi ki mak kor eh chu liao" (She went to her sister's house.)I thought I can talk to her since I come back only once in a few weeks. Now I could not.

22nd of March (Saturday)
8.00 am. I have event to attend today. No choice! Have to go back Nilai. I sat in the train, waiting for the train to move, to Nilai. Suddenly, my phone rang.

Papa: " Halo, where are you?"
Me:" In the train, waiting for the train to move. "
Papa:" Sherene, can come back? "
Me, without asking why said:" ok. "
Papa:" You know what happen already ar? "
Me:" Har? I don't know. What happen? "
Papa:" Akor passed away already. "
Me:" HAR? O, OK. "

Stunned. I know this will someday happen, but... I walk out the train. Walk back to bus terminal. Travel to Malacca again. *sad*

11:00 am. Reached Malacca. I called papa. " The bus passed Alor Gajah's way. Will reach bus station in half an hour time. "

11:30 am. Called again. "Papa, I reached bus station already." Papa answered. "We are buying coffin. Can you take a bus to mak kor's house?" I answered "ok." Sky was covered with dark and thick cloud. I felt a lil gloomy. I managed to catch a bus just in time before the bus leave.

12:30 am. I reached my destination after a long journey. Walk into mak kor's house. There is 2 rows of sofa filled with my relatives, they gave me a sad look and they have 'red eyes'! I walk towards the room where my aunty was lying. She is covered with blanket from head to toes. I removed the blanket, to look at her with tears in my heart. A strong feeling of sadness gushed out within me. I hold my tears, telling myself not to cry. My aunty made my sisters and me promise not to cry when she died. Twice, in these 5 years time. She said that is it a temporary departure, we will meet again in heaven, so there is no need to cry.

1:30 pm. Caretakers arrived. They carried my aunty's body to the van with a stretcher. Suddenly, a loud wail can be heard from this house. My aunts and nieces, they can't help it but to cry. My heart was torn into pieces.

I asked another aunt how she dies. She said "As usual, mak kor cleaned her up in the morning. After talking to her for a while, she went to kitchen to stir the porridge. When she returned, akor like that already." I want to thank God that she died peacefully.


24th of March (Monday)
Last and final service start at 1:00 pm. We sang some songs and continued with gospel message by elder Wong. Then, my cousin, Marcus who is my aunty only son gave a speech. As he delivered his most affectionate speech, many relatives began to shed tears. He is a non-Christian. Unbelievably, he said this "I believe that my mom is now with God, where she had puts her faith in the Lord Jesus Christ." A non-Christian saying this? And even saying out the name of our Savior in public? Praise God people!!!

2:30 pm. It was raining cats and dogs when we departed from the rites hall. But our God is again merciful by granting us a fine weather. A lil drizzling though. We sang 2 hymns. The first, "Safe in the arms of Jesus". "Amazing grace" as requested by my cousin. There was a great downpour at the Cheng Christian Cemetery. My grievances overshadowed my voice. I could not sing. My aunty's remains is lowered down to the ground.

3:00 pm. Rush to bus station immediately after the whole thing ended. I cannot afford to miss class for one more day. Emotionally unstable!

Summary (thanks for your patient in reading grandmother story)

God has been good, towards my aunty and during her funeral. He puts everything into place, a perfect plan for everyone. The gospel was being preached for the whole 2 nights of service. I hope the message will sink down deeply in my relatives' heart and mind, and also friends and neighbors who are present.

My aunty has a grandma figure. My sisters and me started sleeping together with her ever since kindergarten till secondary school, where my cousin got married and they moved out. She is the one that consoled us when we got scolded from parents. She is the only close relative of mine who is in the Lord. After this I have less one person on earth that I can actually fall on to. The one that I can tell everything to.

Will miss you akor... ... I know you will be happy and safe in arms of Jesus.

Skeptical

What Sherene Tan Yin Xyn Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are incredibly sexy and sensual. You have a naughty vibe that no one can ignore. You have an unquenchable desire. And you are unrestrained in your passions. You have a tendency to be unfaithful. Whether you fight it or give in to it is up to you.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Just for the sake of updating. Do not be carried away by such superstitious thingy. By the way, can anyone tell me what does sherene means?

M & M

What came to your mind when you see M&M?
Chocolate?
But I am not talking about chocolate right now.
It's Milk & Meat.
Haha!

Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which [be] the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk [is] unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, [even] those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
Hebrews 5:11-14

No need to explain the verses right? I believe everyone can understand.

In the past Inti Christian fellowship Camp, a friend of mine who brought a non-c friend to the camp asked her a few things. She couldn't answer, so she looked for me for the answer. And, I couldn't answer as well. It wasn't a too difficult question. But I could not answer! Argh! I have to look for other people to get the answer. And it was not only one question, quite a number of questions! Spread out in two days!

I ... ...
should be teaching, (err I prefer to use the word explaining) instead of being taught about the elementary truth of the Word over again and again.
I ... ...
should be feeding on meat, not milk. For those who feed on milk is still an infant, not acquainted with the Word.
I ... ...
should be constantly trained myself to eat meat, in order to be mature and to distinguish good from evil.

But I never ... ...

The changes I must make?

• Read through notes from sermons and camps.
• Read more Christian books.
• Read more Christian articles.
• Have more Christian conversation.

Milk and meat are in the same level in food pyramid but each of them functions differently.



milk = infant
meat = mature


Can I say this as a conclusion?

3/3 F

I promised myself that I will post this blog.

18th of February, the day where all the CAT & ACCA students waited anxiously for the release of result. I opened ACCA website, logged into myACCA, keyed in my registration number and pass code. A few seconds passed. There we go, my result appeared on the screen. 3/3 FAIL !!! Did you get it? All failed! My first ever degree examination and I failed all. What a discouragement! I e-mailed it to my father. Later on, I decided to call. Thinking that he might not have the time to check the mailbox. I wonder what will his expression be. Disappointment? Or can he accept?

True enough! He can! I do not know how he do it. But he can accept this fact.

He said :" Right now, you don't worry about anything, just focus on the current subject. Next sem try again. Study hard ok?"

Speechless me yet able to barely answered an "Ok."

Last December was the examination month. After exam ended, I cried. I knew that I won't make it. It's not that I don't have faith. But how can you expect a pass when you sat for 3 hours and not knowing what to pen down? My father is the one who consoled me.

Feeling guilty? Of course. Feeling sad? Of course. How can a human not felling sad when something bad happened? All human has feelings.

How come failed? Have I been neglecting my time to study? Or I don't understand what am I studying? Or wrong method of studying? Or I just take it lightly? Give me any reason. I don't have the answer.

*getting emo*

Consequences of this failure is wasting of time and money. Extra approx 4k and extra 1/2 year.

*enough of emoness*

There must be a reason for this to happen. God wouldn't favor failing his child, because he loves every single one of them, it hurts to fail his own child. But if failure do happened, he must have his reasons for doing so. Is He disciplining me? Or testing my faith? Can be those reasons. Or He has something for me to learned in that extra half a year time? Can be also. My earthly father still loves me and is still understanding when I failed my exam. All the more will my heavenly Father who loves me until the very end be with me to overcome this challenging time.

*action plan*

Talking about action plan, it is easy to draft it out. But to carry it out? It requires high discipline and commitment. All this while, whenever I am stress-out, I tend to scold people for nothing and started eating like a monster. And I don't realized it when I am doing all this things, releasing tension in a wrong way. My family is my witness. Only when I calm my self down, I come to realize all the foolish act that I've done. Back at home, my family can help in minimizing this from happening. But right now I am not at home. Who will help me? This is the real uni life! Count on God for help, for He is faithful!

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Ephesians 3:20

*off to battle field*

There will always be ups and downs in life. It is up to us to face it or to hide from it. I choose to face it. Do it again! Open the book, and start studying. Do it with the strength, the wisdom and the help from above. I want to let His glory shine in coming exam!

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing [this], that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have [her] perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all.
James 1:2-4

Lil RBS reunion

On the 2nd second of CNY night, a group of young, passionate, energetic and lovely child of God gathered together at one of the popular tourism spot -- Jonker Street, Malacca.

I was worried at first. Will this reunion be a successful one? It involves rbses from two different badges. Namely 2006 and 2008. Can we all blend in as RBS student? And not forgetting transport arrangement. Fail to arrange means fail everything.

Thanks to my father who agreed to fetch us. *woohoo* Off we go!!!

We walked through the crowd. All kind of essence, be it from food stall by the road side as well as homo sapiens ascended to the clear and bright without stars sky.

We pushed ourself through the crowd, looking for cendol+laksa shop. We managed to find it. And so we pushed ourself even harder through the crowd. What we see in the end was a shop that is full of customers. There ain't any empty table but only a long queue of human line.

Mission failed!

We settled down at Limau Limau. A small shop yet its design is comparable to other bigger scale shop. All kind and some weird combination of juices are available here. All healthy drinks! I support! We chat chat chat. Trying to "show off" to the other badge how umph is one badge compare to another. All the life transforming story. The little little thing that is really insignificant. The lessons. The people. The place. The food. The activities. The everything. Good job! Now I really missed the time when I was in RBS! The more we talk, the more that we found out we had actually known a few same person. [ of course la, all from Adam ma...]

The day will end soon. Still crowded! The night is still too young for Malaccan folks and also foreigner. We took pictures before we leave one another again just like what we did during graduation day. -.-"

How do I feel about the whole thing? I am H-A-P-P-Y! Glad that we could catch up with one another.

Until we meet again, take care people!

*for pictures lover, check out this gadiy.blogspot.com the title "Melacca for the New Year Part 3"

February

Busy! Busy! Busy!

No time to update!

I will do it retrospectively.

Dear friends, don't mind ya?

A small town name Bahau.

Never had this kind of chinese new year celebration before.

I made up mind and decided to go to a small town name Bahau, Negeri Sembilan for CNY visiting. I was hesitate at first. Why go so far under the hot sun? Moreover, it is in Negeri Sembilan. The place where I study --> away from home. -.-"

As a brief intro ... ...

Bahau is situated at the border of Negeri Sembilan. My church, chinese meeting, planted a church there a few year ago. It is called Bahau Gospel Hall "ma kou fu ying tang" We normally travel using old road, which will take us about one to one an a half hour.

Programme ... ...

8:30 am Min Lian fetch me and sis to fu keong's house in Taman Asean, Malacca.
9:15 am Kim Fatt fetch us. Off we go!
10:30 am Reach bahau. Meet in church. We are the earliest.
11:15 am Message by Chee Tat, entitle " wu fu lin men "
11:45 am Makan
12:00 pm "Gong Xi Fah Chai, Hong Pau Na Lai." Split into 3 arrears. Each with 2 cars.
1st house--> big house, very comfortable to live in.
2nd house-->wooden house, surrounded by trees, cooling, they were watching cj7.
3rd house-->terrace house, nice soup, own plant vege, great meal.
4th house-->terrace house, homemake fruit drinks, creative hand-made house deco.
5th house-->half wooden and concrete house, nice cookies, all gather in this house,
took picture.
*we are visiting houses of kids attending Sunday School, all non-believer*
5:30 pm Back to Malacca
7:00 pm Reach home. Get ready for family visiting. @.@

At the end of the day, everybody is exhausted! Nevertheless, the tiredness is overshadowed by the feeling of satisfaction and joy for being able to spend time with our spiritual family in this festive season.

The message --> "wu fu lin men" Literally it means 5 different blessings come to your door step. Figuratively it means, think yourself! It is taken from 5 different chapter from the book of Psalms. The popular CNY word - "fu" can be dissected into 3 part. God, Adam and Garden of Eden. Combine it all together, it can be said, in everything that we do, God is always there lending out helping hand. The speaker reminded us to thanked God for all the blessing that we were bless ever since we were still in our mother's womb.

The program looked ordinary. So what? Program is secondary. I do feel a stronger bond between us. It is stronger enough to make the thin wall between us shudder. (read previous post) The conversation, laughter, encouragement and care will I cherish forever. May the good Lord bless you all.