SS!

Syok sendiri. Why la...

No improvement

Click this.

Why no improvement?

Addendum:

Messy item 5: Filing of experience.

It so hard to sit down and discuss on file of experience with manager when Messy item 4 & 3 co-exist.

I think things are turning bad. I plan to/almost tender my resignation letter this month. I am just lost. I see nothing. I don't know where to move. Motivation level down. Do I hand it in?

Really God, what do you want me to do? Talk to me loudly and clearly. Answer my prayers. I need guidance. I need lotsa courage. Lotsa boldness. Lotsa wisdom.

God, guide me please?
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T.T

Why so downcast? O my soul!

Because, there’s a mess up there.

Messy item 1: It is a sin to leave the office on time.

The punishment for this sin is mental torture. I often leave the office with guilty feeling, as though I have wronged against the company. Seriously, what is the big fuss here? I have finished my work for the day, there is no urgent work required, therefore I balik la… Why linger in the office for nothing? Come on, colleagues! Get a life!

Manager rationalizes the reason of staying back: You need to be seen together with the team. We do not know when the bosses will walk in to our workstation. So, arrange your time to stay back for some days.

Yada….Yada…. If I am the manager, I will encourage my staff to leave if there is nothing urgent. Your quality of work is sufficient to show that you are performing. Forget about staying back to impress your boss.

Messy item 2: Idle fats storage

Noticed weight gain of 1-2kg per year.

5 years x 2 kg = 10 kg = one size up. This is mind boggling!!!!

The main reason for weight increase is stress. Yea, ACCA is no joke. I lost many brain cells but I gain many fat tissues. No thanks! :( I EAT when I am stressed.

Stress is bound to haunt us on our way to success. There is little point in going on a diet if I cannot manage stress. How?

*Not happy in the office today. I ate chocolate.

Messy item 3: A friend name confidence is missing in action.

Where art thou?

I dearly miss thee.

Harken unto the cry of thy beloved, hasten and linger not.

There are 2 main causes that shooed my friend away, lack of knowledge and weight gain.

Messy item 4: Hatred (Sounds se-ri-ous!!)

I have tried to understand. I have forgiven countless time. I have taken steps to make improvement as commented and suggested. I have tried most of the things.

Still, that @#$^&*(^% manager is not satisfied. I JUST DO NOT GET HER.

I have pride problem I must admit and she noticed that because I seldom say ‘sorry’. I took her advice and make it a habit to say sorry, own up my mistake whenever it happens, because ‘sorry’ is a pleasant and magical word. Agree?

But guess what? There was a few times I say ‘sorry’ and her reply was: What ‘sorry?’

Hey woman! You make my ‘sorry’ sounds so cheap when in fact I sincerely apologize. Really don’t get her. Does she really need to push me to dead end?

Level of hatred: I do not want to be physically near her, like having lunch, take photo, only allowed work related conversation.

Unexplained pressure: As long as she is in her room, I feel pressured. Meaning I feel pressured every now and then. I have done nothing wrong but this feeling got stuck with me. *dislike this to the max*

Sigh

This is not the right atmosphere to end the year. Why la like that? Every morning, I ask myself: Why have to go work? :(

In search of solutions from the Almighty One.

Into the last quarter of 2011

Burnt, choked, suffocated, stressed, lost, trashy, failure, giving up, worried, miserable, weariness, etc etc. List down all the negative adjective you know and that spell my current situation.

Now, really. Why can't this study matter get over? Why must it keep bugging me? I can't move on with life when I have incomplete papers tagging along.

It is never easy to do revision. The passion is fading, energy level is low, focus is not straight but temptation of the world seems attractive.

Oh God, how do I work and study at the same time. Will it work out this time? Will I complete the final 2 papers this time round? Will I see 2 passes in my result slip?

Oh God, I want to be a diligent employee. A person who does things best, accurate and just up to the expectation. But how? Sometime, I just do not know how. It is like a dead end, no solution. Worse, my immediate superior is the most difficult people to deal with in the company. The learning process is hard and I understand this. But God, this is way too hard for me to take on.

God, how? Show me, please.
God, how do I trade my sorrow with joy?
God, how do I live under stress?
How?
How?
How?

TT

June 2011

*sneezes sneezes sneezes* I am having flu... T.T

I wonder what life has to offer. Or rather, what God has in store for me. At the moment, I am living a live of mediocrity. I am stuck in every aspect of life.

I sat for P7 Advanced Audit and Assurance this time round for ACCA examination. It was so hard. I could not finished it. To be rational, I do not think I will make it. Do note that this is the 3rd attempt for this paper. What the heck right?

Next, my salary is below market rate in Malaysia. A fresh grad with a degree qualification earns him/herself at least RM1,800.00. I am in the final stage - Professional level of ACCA and guess what? I do not even qualified for that amount. According to ACCA, which is known worldwide, a person who has completed Fundamental Level, which I did, is equivalent to a degree. I have exceeded that by passing more paper in Professional Level (completed 3 out of 5). I do not think I am asking too much if I am demanding more. Ok, I am staying with my dad and sister. Meaning I do not need to pay rental, dinner and grocery. Does that means I do not need the extra few hundreds? NO! It is my right to get more because I am qualified for it.

In order to be qualified as an chartered accountant, I need to submit Trainee Development Matrix(TDM). It is a document to file my working experience. I would need to answer many questions that is work based structured questions and not based on text book. I went through the questions a few days ago. In every performance objective, there are three questions to be answered. For most of the performance objectives, I cannot completely answer all three. That is because my current role does not allowed me to due to lack of appropriate exposure. I think I am deprived of career advancement. I need help on this. I am looking for appropriate people to advise and counsel me on this(filing of experience in TDM).

I am a parasit in church. I am not in a big church but I find it difficult to get involve in serving. This is not right. I am not sure what does it means. Could it be that I should have taken more initiative to approach people? I do not know.

It is hard to do devotion at home. At night, dad watched dvd or blasts jazz music. I understand his needs of relaxing after a tiring day of work. But what about me? My daily devotion is usually delayed till later part in the night when dad turns off those devices and goes to sleep. I sleepily read through the verses. Sometimes, I can not take it anymore and I will just head to the bed and sleep. How about devotion in the morning? Mind you, I have been trying since beginning of the year by waking up early but it did not happen. I just cannot pull myself up from the bed.

I am not obese but close to. I am gaining weight each year without failed. Honestly, part of my confidence and self-esteem give way to weight gain.

I am quieter nowadays due to several issues stated above. There are many issues to be dealt with in life. Some are easy, some are not. What I do hope is that I may go through this boldly and joyfully. I want to be able to embrace every new day with a smile.

One step at a time,
an issue at a time?

What else can I say?
Sigh.

Sigh deeply...

:(

A mother in law is not a monster in roar. Lol.

:)

Some of the points did struck me.
In what way?
I'm keeping it for myself at the moment.
:)

Oct'10

1. It feels good to drop some words here. There was a storm last month and I decided to lay low. ( whoa, an escape criminal ar?) I am grateful that things are now in control as compared to last month, which means I should be appreciative and not take things for granted.

2. I joined the workforce 2 weeks ago and that makes me a newbie. :) I must say this is the work of God. It was another answered prayer. My office is situated near klcc. For transportation, it is foc as my dad's office is a few levels below my office. Friendly and helpful colleagues are important! (I am the youngest staff ^^) Staffs in finance division are all holders of professional qualification. Top management level are humble people. Too humble that you wouldn't think that they will join in to joke about the joke we joked over lunch. ( Sing: God is so good, God is so good...)

3. Job scope. The new things I did was issuing cheques. The rest are pretty much the same with the previous voluntary training stints for 2 months. However, I tend to screw up new opportunity given, those that I long for, by making mistakes. I wonder is it alright? During interview, the manager asked me what do I think of people making mistakes. I replied to err is human... How come I fail to see things from a broader perspective? Over and over again? This is rather sad and disappointing. It will look bad on my performance. How??? Come, o ye divine wisdom!

-> despite of all this, I still hope to prepare a full set of accounts one day.

4. I am having problem with finding the right time to study. Night time is a knock-off. Revision during lunch time in the office looks good though. :) Will try it out.

5. Talking about time, I need to adjust my quiet time as well. I want to take this to a new and meaningful level. A more productive time. So, rise early? (zzz...)

6. Currently working on building solid relationship with new people I met and the old ones to grow stronger and deeper.

7. Someone is turning 22 next month. :)

Note to self:
My post is full of words.
Words are important but I must not underestimate the power of pictures.
A picture speaks better than a thousand word.
Go and get a camera!
A digital cam or dslr?
$$$$$$$$$$
@@

Oh no, no updates!

Ouch!

Ouch! It hurts! Once again! It is even more hurtful this time because it happens once again.
But, every trial makes a person stronger.
Is that so?
Well, not for me,
for now,
at this moment,
at least.

I didn't make it to graduate. I didn't clear any paper I sat for last sitting either. That's bad!

In this situation, joining the work force is no longer a wise decision because I have 3 outstanding papers. Unless, I choose to postpone my studies. Another suggestion is that to do one paper at a time while working. Wait a minute! May I know which employer would be kind enough to give such a person a shot? Maybe. However, the job scope given wouldn't be the kind of job scope designed for graduate. Looking at my current job, which is temporary, I don't think it is getting me anywhere good. Ironically, I really hope I'm wrong when I say this. Am I too proud when I talk like that?

Next option is going back to class, with the same lecturers, same class jokes, same notes, same exercises, etc... unless, of course, I choose to go for different lecturer this time, which is allowed. The truth is, I don't have any space left in my heart to attend class.

Try another option, self-study. I would have to do it in kl. Malacca is not a good place, the study environment is just not conducive, especially with babies around! My family couldn't agree more with this statement. Self-study in kl means very less friends, no internet access, lesser entertainment due to lack of peers to hang out, etc... Aren't these 'the' criteria to go full force in studies? Come on people, be honest! I admit I feel lonely staying in such an environment.

So, what now? I need to decide fast! Registration for June sitting will be due by mid of next month.

The atmosphere is undeniably negative.

God, please guide!

notes from a soon to be stock buyer :D

Interesting facts picked up from this course, EquitiesTracker.com. :)

Accounting is the language of business, you have to learn it like a language. You can't be comfortable in a country if you aren't comfortable with the language. To be successful at business you have to understand the underlying values of a business.

-Warren Buffet-

Want to meet Warren Buffet? You can meet him in his old school, University of Columbia, New York. Please pay USD$144000 to be his junior. You might be able to have meal with him when he visits his old school. :)

Buying stock is like buying a property, eg, a house. There are a lot of homework/research to be done before you acquire it.

Most of the investors in retail market get almost 0% return. So, if you want to gamble, please choose Genting. At least, the chance of winning is 30%.

I finished a post with many words.
Then I click wrongly.
Hence everything disappear.
I don't think I'm going to retype it.

sien...

What holiday?

Hey! I'm stressed! I'm in need of desserts! Preferable something chocolaty... :)

This is most probably my last long holiday before the next one comes many years later but here I am, being stressed over it. Sigh... Real sighness...Argh!!!

Attending classes, will no longer be my regular activity in the next few years, at least. No, I have not graduated. I'm waiting for the results of last 3 ACCA papers that I sat this early June at the moment which I think I won't make it. (prudent or pessimistic? you decide) However, I'll stay put in employment regardless of the outcomes. I would say I'm adamant on this aspect. Well, I think I'm in the category of getting bored of a student's life. It's end of June right now and my temporary job will commence next month in a small accounting firm belongs to my dad's gila friend ( that is how my parents call him okay? oh, my gila boss!) while looking for a permanent job. Where is my land of toiling then? Honestly, I'm open to many places. But seriously, where is it? I see nothing! :( Am I too rush in getting the answer? Maybe. A reminder to self: Things will only be beautiful if it happens in God's timing. Oh Lord, I need thy divine guidance!

Next, it is so hard to meet up with secondary school friends. Firstly, it is because of my undeniably weird holiday periods. Secondly, I'm bound by transportation. But friends are sweet enough to pick me up. :) Thirdly, clashes of activities. Fourthly, let me think. All of these obstacles teach me the value of friendship. A kind of relationship that is bonding rather than binding. I miss them so much! :( I have no choice but to skip this coming Sunday seaside gathering due to clashes of activity. I'm truly sorry for not joining again my friends. :( Please play/eat/dance to the fullest on behalf of me.

Talking about meeting up with friends, it's even harder to meet up with friends from Stamford College Malacca. Main reason? Cinderella must leave before the clock strike 12! But the party cannot start anytime earlier than that because most of the guests just cannot make it. One of my friend is getting marry. I want to meet up with her 'before it's too late!'

Weight management anyone? It's under construction for me. Gosh, temptation is so real! Why try so hard with my own limited ability? Do not I have a Almighty God?

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You know what?
I'm committing everything into God's hands.
And be thankful.

Not so mayhem after all but mayday is still needed

I have too many things in mind. Some are important and some are just trivial matters. Once again I lost my word in writing and orally. It could be due to the pathetic fact that I have not been engaging myself in good chat for a long period of time. I missed talking, and many other things. It is getting gloomy...

Halt.

On the bright side, my new house is comfy and I feel so bless to live in this house. The price is amazingly cheap! According to people who live in this area. Other than that, I have read 5 good books so far! (An achievement?) That is because I have no one to talk to. -.-''' But it changes the way of me looking at things and to try out different approach. Heck la, reading really makes one grows! It is definitely a smart investment. No doubt on that.

Note: For those who are paying income taxes in Malaysia, the the book relief amount is 100% of what you paid for books purchase from bookstore. :)

Going to camp next week! My long anticipated broga experience and sunrise watching! Here I come!

Bang Head Here

Try it at your own risk.

May is approaching. O come what may!

Weakend & Strongend

" Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! Tomorrow is Saturday! "

It shows how joyful am I in welcoming Saturday. Last time. The situation is different right now. At least, at this moment. I feel bored of staying at home during the weekend. Lethargy-ness is eating me up. I just feel the urge to get out of the house. What is happening? Is this another changes? In term of lifestyle?

How to turn weakend into strongend? I want my joyful Saturday back! Fast!

Emo... =(

Marching Month of March

I ushered this month by updating my facebook status to Sherene must march macholy in this marching month of March. Have I accomplish that? Well, the only thing I do know now is that today is the last day of March. Thankfully I'm not working yet or else I be caught in quarterly jam, preparation of first quarterly report.

I have not been to any welfare home in my whole life. Oh, apathetic-ness! That is not true. It is just that I don't have the chance to do so. But, I got the chance of doing it this month! On the 20th, the ladies from my church here visited a drug rehab in cheras which I find it saddening on me because I had class on this day. T.T Never mind, I visited an orphanage, House of Matthew in Gombak the next day. ^^v The kids were on holiday so we didn't have the chance to see them. We repaired furnitures and painted the gate etc. Sherene paints! It was fun la! I got suntan though.

The painters:

In case you are wondering where are the guys, they are with us, but just not in this pictures.

Attention!

(Left) ACCA self-study student (Right) ACCA full-time student.

Who say accountants are boring people? Our life is full of colors.

In the name of love, we paint!

Last week, the youth leader here asked me to help out in youth camp. I was given administrative and treasury role, which fits me well. I... dare not give my commitment to help out in the camp. Reasons: 1) There will be comm meeting that is for sure. But I'm not sure is that how things get done here. I would then have to skip a lot of meeting as I have weekend class. Sigh. 2) My exam is approx 10 days away from camp. Should I go? The question I should ask is will I have the peace of mind to join the camp?

My weekend classes are taking away too much of my time for God in church. Just too much! However, it motivates to get rid of this coming papers. The end of weekend class. Hopefully!

There are 2 persons that I believe it is not just mere coincident that we meet.

Number one.

I met her in inti. She hangs out with my ex-roommate most of the time. Right now, they are roommate. She is my classmate for one paper too. She first came in touch with Christianity during National Service. Awesome!!! She is truly interested in knowing the stories in the Bible. She talks to God every night. She said that she can't sleep well if she doesn't say a pray before bed. (Me too!) She even wonders will she be punish for praying to 2 different gods. I've been trying to get her to care group and church. She is fine with this! The barrier now is, our darn weekend class. So should I then spend time with her telling her Bible stories? And bring the gospel to her eventually? She is searching for the true God, that is for sure.

Number two.

I met her in my church youth camp more than 5 years ago. Yet, last 2 weeks ago we met again. Cool! She seems reserves, tired of life, dislike of the past and lost in direction. Err, I don't know how true is my observation. We will see. She told me not to tell so and so that she met me because she doesn't like to listen to those 'stuff'. She meant the gospel. I plan to text so and so to tell her that I'm with her initially. You know the excitement of meeting into people of you wouldn't expect to? Glad that I choose to pay attention to lecture and not texting so and so.

God, what do you want me to do with these friends? May you speak through me. May they hear You. Time is running short! There is a very high chances of us not in the same class next sem. Teach me how to love, how to care. I need the wisdom to bring about Your words to them. Teach how to live my life as you will it, to be Your good ambassador.

Next is my youngest sis birthday but none of her sisters are at home to spend time with her. However, she is equally busy. She has competition on her birthday. =.= And got good results, as usual. So, ah jas if you are reading this, I wish you happy birthday again! Double blessing, double joy!

Let me introduce a new friend here. She is Michelle, another pretty Ipoh girl. A friend from RBS 2006 which is my badge. I was so glad that we spent one Saturday for lunch and shopping. I know a little bit more about her. ^^ Our waves length is quite the same too. I wish I know her much earlier on. She is leaving to UK this May. Argh! Time is running short! Now, we still have April and May to gel-gel. I want a sticky one.

I met up with hun chee. A senior and friend of mine in inti. She gets to travel around as she is working as an auditor. I always get one free snack during meal time as she will pay for it. Aww...I just don't want my body to digest those snack. It keeps me warm. Thank cute! Talking about travelling around with the minimum expanse as most of the expenses are covered by her company, I would want this kind of job too. Auditor?

I love friends.

I have a lot more to pen down here. Just too many in my head. But I'll stop here at the moment.

Sherene must march macholy in this marching month of March.

Have I accomplish this?

I would say fairly okay. There are room for improvements and good points to pick up. :)

All pictures are taken from facebook.

100!!!

I came to realize this is my 100th post!!! Great!

I want to thank those who have read my blog all this while , those who have dropped some lovely messages and even those who think this is a plain boring blog.

Results for Dec 2009 sitting of ACCA examination was released yesterday.

I passed, ALL! Praise the Lord everyone! This is my first time passing all attempted subject in ACCA journey! A miracle! Shame on me that I let myself believe such a miracle could not happen! Hey, you have no idea how scared I was okay? I cried one day before results day. =.=

The miracle,

F5 Performance Management
This is my 4th attempt. Grr! but got more than just a pass Phew! A big relieved!

P2 Corporate Reporting
I did about 80/100 marks during exam. I have no idea how to tackle the last question and I don't even have to time to think. Honestly, I sucked up my tears because there were many people in the hall. =.= Then I came back crying. T.T but, I got just a pass. I am thankful that I don't have to look at all those annoying IASs again, for now. Given the same question paper to me right now, I don't think I know how to do. =/

P3 Business Analysis
This paper was fairly okay. I rushed through the whole paper though. I got just a pass as well.

From the results above, many of my comrades said that I am so lucky. Luck huh? My lady luck? Nope, I will still say, this is A MIRACLE!!!

Do you see a smile on my face now? I am sure you did! =)

Dad once 'prophesied' that I will do better in final level, which is call professional level. In this case, half of his 'prophesy' is fulfilled. lol

Are you wondering why am I so happy for getting just a passed? Well, before you make any not so wise judgment, go around and ask people from business field and listen to what they have to say about ACCA.

And now, the race goes on. I am left with final 3 papers to graduate. If I passed all again this time round, I will graduate in August 2010. I am looking forward to it! Oh, come on, come on!

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I am dating ACCA examination in June 2010, wish me all the best!

P1 Professional Accountants
P4 Advanced Financial Management
P7 Advanced Audit and Assurance

However, I still need -
wisdom
discipline
determination
faith
hope
prayer

PRESS ON!!!

Redness

CNY was Awesome this year!
I cleaned up.
I ate.
I collected ang pow.
I took lotsa interesting pictures.
I read a few pages of Christian book.
I slept.
I had a moment of cold war with mom over kitchen's matter.
I met up with many little cousins, nieces and nephews.
I met up with friends.
I made new friends.
I built a better relationship with Malacca & Setapak church members.
I got suntanned for being a voluntary tour guide for friends in Malacca.
I had my period during cny.
I screamed and shouted with sisters like a crazy woman at home.

Feel sad for
Not losing weight before cny.
Not being able to meet up with secondary school friends.
The hot cny weather.

Okay, results will be out by tomorrow. Darn it to the max!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one can ever stop me from saying Thank You

Whenever I make a statement about the goodness of God in my life or even when I see myself progressing in my walk with God, the next events that follow suit are those not Christ-like events. :(

Indeed, it is so hard to just maintain. The weakness of my flesh, the world and the devil make a good catalyst to set me apart from God.

Does that means I should stop praising God in response to such incident? But how can I hold myself from giving thanks to God, singing songs and hymns to Him and even tell my self to zip my mouth when all the words and deeds of love which left me in awe fiercely gush out from my lips? I cannot help it but to boast of His mercy, grace and joy to people I meet and to God Himself.

This race must go on, in and out of season. With the help of God, victory is in my hands. I'll surely make it to the finish line. Thank you, Lord!

Pray and press on sherene!


Thank You - The Katinas

Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say
Thank you Lord, just for loving me, alright
Many times I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank you Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me

Here I am with all I have
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sins but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You give me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
Amazing grace it's more than just a song
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed me mercy

Here I am with all I have
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I wanna say thank you for sun
Lord we thank you for the rain
Thank you for the love You gave

Here I am with all I have
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

Religious awe is the same organic thrill
which we feel in a forest at twilight,
or in a mountain gorge.
-William James-